My pathology test results came back. They are all negative. And I mean that as - Negative in a positive way. In other words......No chemotherapy needed.
I am cancer-free.
Perhaps I should be doing cartwheels right now.....(As if?)) but more than anything, what I feel today is complete emotional relief from the stress of what could have been. We all know this could have gone completely different.
I draw strength from two incredible women. They are all that I have thought of almost every single minute of every single day since I first talked with my doctor in late February. Julianne Romero and Jennifer Fick.
My sister Julianne, died from a very rare in-operable brain tumor at the age of 24. I was only 17 years old and she was my idol. I looked up to her in every way. She was gifted from birth with talent, beauty, smarts, immeasureable happiness and unparrallelled energy. She had her whole life still ahead of her and then suddenly had to deal with the reality of having to face death. Her joy, (up to the very end) - was her gift to everyone. She never let us see her suffer. I think it was her way of helping us cope with our grief after she passed.
I remember when I turned 25 years old and feeling guilty that I had lived longer than she had. Why did I get an extra year and she didn't? Nothing made sense.
The other, is Jennifer Fick. Someone whom I deeply regret not personally knowing better. She died two years ago from ovarian cancer. Her son and my son have been in the same classroom every year since first grade and I doubt that they have ever had lunch at school apart from one another. They are very close friends. And so through our son, Eric, we followed Jennifer's fight with cancer very closely. What an amazing woman. What an amazing family. How is one expected to face the reality of leaving behind a loving and devoted husband and two young children? She had to. And she did it with grace and courage. She did it with faith, and a sense of peace that surpassed all understanding. Remarkable.
No doubt that I have two angels looking over me.....and for them I am especially grateful today.