Shoes

Yes, you have reached my knitting blog. However, this is obviously not going to be a knitting entry. Rather I will share with you my other passion. Ballroom.

I was going through some old boxes of stuff the other day, when I came across my old ballroom dance shoes. Well, they actually hit me square in the head. Bam! Whoa didn't see that coming. Hmm.... I haven't worn these in like ten years I thought to myself.....and there you have it.

I got all nostalgic.

Haven't thought much about it in a long time but here I was, standing in my closet, ankle deep in memories while trying to squeeze my bunioned dancer's feet into these tiny little rhinestone studded 3 inch heeled latin dance shoes. And (as if by magic) I was transported back to a time when I lived a life of glamour and invincibility. To a time, where my skills were appreciated and sought after. To a time in my life where I felt confident and indestructable. And most importantly, to a time when I was doing what I loved the most.





Straight away, I knew what needed to be done. I threw on some work out wear and headed for my huge and (otherwise good for nothing) basement. In the back corner of my basement and away from all windows where I couldn't be seen, I cranked up the volume on my son's I-pod and had "at it" on the concrete floor. I tore it up....and I mean that in a good way. Okay, now I know that (sadly) I am not nearly as flexible as I use to be or as thin and energetic as I was back in my 20's but hey......I think I've still got it! Or at least part of "it." Funny, but it's true what I used to teach my own students. Learn your basics well, and you will never lose them. It's like riding a bike. And imagine, I am doing all this in the back part of my basement where I am supposed to head directly for in the event of a tornado.

Cuban motion.....rise and fall.......swivels and synchopated cha-cha rythmns. Hmmmm it's still all right here. A little older, slower and creakier, but still.......................

So back to reality now. Being a SAHM (Stay at home mom) everything always comes back around to relating to Oprah. (for me anyway) And this anecdote is no exception. Ms. Winfrey herself has a section in her magazine that is called.... What I know for sure. I've personally pondered this question many many times and always have had difficulty finding an answer that I was satisfied with. But today, I had my first Oprah "aha" moment. And here it is.

What I know absolutely for sure is that without Dance, I am incomplete. Dance is in my heart. It is my passion. Dance is in my soul. It is the one thing in life that I have a complete and absolute connection with. I will never be the best dancer in the world or the worse for that matter.......but without it, I realize I am not whole. Yes, I know..... total cheezy "You complete me" Jerry Maguire-ish here. but, hey I'm just sharin' is all...........

As a little girl I dreamed of only two things in life for myself. To dance......and to get married and have kids. I did the dancing. I competed. I was good. Really good. I got married. We had our three children. Life is good. Really good. I always knew that the lifestyle of a dancer/instructor wasn't conducive to raising a family, and so I chose to pack away my dancing shoes. If I couldn't give 110% to it then I'd give nothing at all. I realize that I have been cheating myself by not keeping it at least a little bit in my life.

I love this picture.


Even though I am very critical of my hand lines here and the goofy expression on my face, I love this picture because it represents the very brief time in my life when I had both Dance and Family. I've also just noticed that my mom is in the background taking a picture.I was three months pregnant here with my first son Eric. This was the last time I performed on a ballroom floor. Appropriately, I am "high" being raised up by one of my students. I've decided to call this picture. Past, Present and Future.

So was it coincidence that I happened to find my old dance shoes and pictures the same day that I was discussing life's passions (and Brokeback Mountain) over lunch with friends? Or was finding the shoes and pictures a disposition of providence? Either way, I will call it a good omen. I've decided that I need to reclaim that part of me that makes me feel so alive. And it best be soon, before another 10 years of non dancing passes me by.

What is it that you know for sure? What is your passion besides knitting? Please share. Nothing is TMI (too much info).