October 24, 2005

The Knitting Princess and the 14 skeins of Pure Evil yarn

Once upon a time there was a Knitting Princess, who lived in a place that was similiar to the Garden of Eden. We'll call it Eden Prairie for now. This fairy princess was happy.......until one day she bought 14 skeins of beautiful Cashsoft Aran blue yarn at $8.50 a skein to make a gorgeous sweater for her best friends' coming birthday and well..........well.......

Ah, who am I kidding? I couldn't construct a clever lovely fairy tale if my very life depended on it.

Basically, I bought the yarn. I knitted about 70% of a sweater. Didn't like the way it was turning out, so ripped out the whole damn thing and thus decided that it absolutely IS okay to own (yet another) over-sized scarf that I probably won't ever even wear.

However, for those of you up for a really great (based on true life events) fairy tale about a knitting princess and an evil afghan......click here. I promise it to be a fun read by a REAL writer friend of mine.

Anyway, long story short. I had been working on this sweater here for my best-est friend. (only in blue) and I wanted it to be an extra special birthday gift because I failed to send her a present last year. Nope, not even a card was sent. C'mon people, reserve your judgements. You all know how it is. You can't think of the perfect gift to give to someone who really means a lot to you, and so you sit on it, and sit on it, and sit on it some more, thinking that an over the top idea will suddenly come to you in your sleep, or pop into your thoughts at the most unexpected time. Only, you wait, but it doesn't come and the further into the past the birthday gets, the bigger and better the gesture has to be in order to justify to yourself (not the recipient, of course) why it has taken you so long to do something so simple. Finally, you realize that the time limit to send a gift has expired. So, you decide to forget about it for now and vow to yourself that you will make up for the major oversight next year on her birthday.

Next year approaches quickly. You buy the yarn with Nov. 18th being the target date. You knit like a mad woman to finish it in time. November 18th....November 18th November 18th. In the mail at the latest by November 15th! It's starting to look a little somethin' like this

....and you don't especially care for the way the sweater is actually turning out, but it's okay. It's okay because it's a special sweater. A hand made sweater. A hand knit, first ever "Softwear by -lisaD." created with love, original sweater. Still knitting away while counting down....six weeks left.....5 weeks left .....4 weeks left.

With exactly one month left to go, a homemade card arrives from said best friend. It is a "Happy Fall" pumpkin extravaganza kind of card. It is gorgeous. A thank you call is placed via telephone to best friend. While on the phone with her, it is discovered (quite by accident) by the (calloused palmed) sweater knitter, that today, October the 18th, is in fact best friends' birthday. Not the 18th of November. but rather, the 18th of October. Oh Shit! I'm an idiot. No denying that the L in my name stands for Loser and not Lisa. Won't my mama be so proud of me?

I rant and rave and gush explitives profusely. .....and I start to unravel. The yarn. I start to unravel the yarn. Best friend deserves better than this pathetic and sad little wool number anyhow. Better do it fast.......If you unravel fast it won't hurt as much.

Maybe she'd like a scarf instead. Perhaps a cashsoft blue short-row knit extra extra extra long scarf for her birthday next year. In the very least, a card would be nice. A homemade handstamped extravagant (I'm making up for two years in a row) kind of card.

Okay, enough said.

Moving on....

Dear Rico,
I know that your 4th birthday was last April and your Baptism anniversary was in August, but please know that I haven't forgotten about you. Your handknit blue teddy bear is on its way.......(as soon as I finish knitting the ears on.)

Love from your Godmother,
-Nina Lisa



Anonymous The Caped Crusader said...

Time. If only aperson could stop the evil "time". If I knew of a way to get around the time issue I would richer than Than Gates guy. Funny thing about time. When you are having fun time goes buy fast. When you are have the worst day of your life, time seems to slow. However you can have either have too much time on your hands or time justs slips away. The very worst thing you can do is just waste time. Don't worry Lisa, we're are waiting for the TIME when the bear is done made out of your love. For that gift will be such a special gift that he will love it through the test of TIME.

11:56 PM  
Anonymous leelee said...

So, the caped crusader reveals himself....with such "deep" thoughts. Very sweet. Thanks.

12:19 AM  
Anonymous Amy said...

Hmmm....I dunno...is EP big enough for TWO Knitting Princesses???

3:11 PM  
Blogger Kelle said...

I always thought Princess a prerequisite for residency in EP.

Don't make me come over there and slap you two princess down for throwing in the towel on your knitting projects.

As a matter of fact I am coming to the SnB tomorrow. "Lucy, jou have some splainin' to do."

7:03 PM  

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